If I Were John…

October 8th, 2013 at 10:55 am

According to a CNN survey of members of the House, and contrary to what Speaker Boehner said yesterday, there are enough votes in that chamber to end the shutdown.  Of course, we’re talking a small minority of R’s voting with all the D’s, but there it is.

A friend asks, “How’d you like to be John Boehner right now?”

Clearly, I’m daydreaming, but I’d like it.  Because I’d stride to the podium, whack the gavel, and say:

“My friends, it is well past time for the people’s House to express the will of the people.

I have proudly stood with my colleagues for over a week now in a valiant and historic effort to prevent the American people from being afflicted with the scourge of Obamacare.  I will continue to stand with you against an implacable opposition that refuses to negotiate.

But my friends, we are better than that.  We are willing to put our convictions and principles to the test–a test that will reveal if the majority of this body is willing to cave to the opposition’s call for a bill to fund the government at current levels with no conditions.

My hope and my belief that the majority will stand with me, with the great Sen. Cruz, with the economic scholar Rep. Ted Yoho, until the shutdown and debt ceiling threats force our opponents to the negotiating table.

So, in contrast to our filibustering friends in the other chamber, let majority rule in the people’s House as we decide whether this shutdown ends now or we continue to hold fast until the President and his allies yield.

That may not be the best strategy for my personal, narrow interests.  I may even lose my speakership.  Maybe I will be “primaried.”  But it is what my country needs of me at this moment, and that it what matters most.”

I’ll bet he could even squeeze out some tears on that last part.  And, yeah, the part about Yoho was just snark.

So there you go Speaker Boehner, no charge.  And if those Tea Partiers cut you loose, latte on me at the Starbucks of your choice.  Have you tried the Pumpkin Spice?  Yum!

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